Being Single is Awesome!

Being Single is Awesome!

You’ve guessed it, this blog post is all about being single and how liberating it has been for me. I have been single for just over 9 months or so, in the beginning, it was strange, suddenly you have all this time on your hands. Like many, I panicked and joined as many dating sites as I could (the free ones of course, or I’d be broke by now!). I didn’t like this feeling of not knowing what to do with myself and thought I could fill the void with another man. I went on dates with men who clearly were not for me, but I didn’t care at the time. But then it hit me like I’d just hit a wall and seen sense, I ask myself, ‘why am I acting so desperate?’ I did some soul searching (as they say) and one night I dreamt about my ex (ugh!!), and it came to me. I’d been in a relationship with a controlling person, I’d gone from free-spirited Jess to Jess the robot, it was his way or no way, I had lost my confidence. I didn’t see it in the beginning, in fact, I didn’t see it happening until the end. I’m entirely grateful to my family, they are the ones who made me see the relationship for what it was. It’s funny really (in a very twisted way) how I was oblivious to it, I guess love is blind as they say, sometimes you need an outsider to point things out.

I saw this poem in a tweet not long ago, it kind of rang true of how I felt at the time of the break-up.

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Once I had severed ties with him, I didn’t know who I was anymore, I’d lost my confidence and thought another man could ‘fix’ me. But I was wrong, the only person who could fix me was me. I ended up quitting all of the dating sites and went ‘cold turkey’ as it were and you know what, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, no more messages craving my attention like a Tamagotchi pet.

I decided to start enjoying my own company and doing things for me. I’d joined the gym previously in a feeble attempt to grab a guys attention (I know, how weak of me), but now I go for myself, hell I much prefer it when there’s no one there! I like the feeling of exercising off the day’s stress, of running that extra km on the treadmill, lifting that extra lb on the weights and holding that plank for just an extra second. My body is getting stronger and so is my mind, I am saying goodbye to the robot. I was having a clear out one day and came across the clothing that he’d picked for me to buy while shopping one day. They were baggy, unattractive and dull, so you guessed it, I threw them out and went on a shopping spree and bought classy clothes that showed off my femininity and made me feel like a woman. I even went and had a haircut!

Since being single, I have progressed my career, and I am well on my way to completing a diploma, which I doubt I would have been able to do if I was in a relationship. It took me nearly 3 months straight of back to back weekends of college work to complete part of the diploma, along with most evenings after work. I don’t know how many boyfriends who would tolerate that. I can go on as many shopping trips or holidays as I like; I went to Poland with the parents during the summer. If I was in a relationship, I doubt I would have gone and would have missed out on the opportunity of seeing Auschwitz, somewhere I have always wanted to visit (as you may know, I’m into my history). I can spend all day in bed if I really wanted to (I wouldn’t, of course, it would unravel the progress I’ve made at the gym!). I watch and re-watch the same film or programme for as many times as I want without having to explain myself, I listen to the quirkiest cringe-worthy music out there without a care in the world what people think, and no one forces me to go out when I don’t want to.

There’s an even bigger benefit of being single…you don’t need to buy gifts, cards or anything else for the boyfriend, their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunties or uncles on Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries, or even funerals. My bank account is very grateful for my new found singleness! Instead, I’ve donated some money to some charities, money better spent if you ask me!

Being single has increased my confidence, in fact, it has skyrocketed. I no longer shy away from raising my concerns or for saying no (especially to guys I’m not interested in), I even complimented a complete stranger on her coat the other day, something I would never have dreamed of doing before. I have been back on the dating sites, just to see who’s on the market (I’ve since deleted all accounts again!) and sure I’d like a relationship in the future, but not right now, I want to enjoy being on my own if only for a tiny bit longer.

So I leave you today with Meghan Trainor’s – No.

Ciao for now,

JB

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Cillian Murphy aka Thomas Shelby

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Well I’ve become addicted to Peaky Blinders, not only is Cillian Murphy a right attractive badass in it, Tom Hardy is also in it! Like double whammy!

Anyway as I’d already drawn Tom Hardy, I thought I’d give Cillian Murphy a go.

It didn’t start off well…I think I’ve had to recycle about 30 sheets of paper with barely a drawing on it before I was happy. It’s always the beginning that’s the problem for me. I always start with the eyes and then work my way down and around, so if the eyes start off bad, there isn’t much point me carrying on with that attempt because I’ll know the mistake is there.

I knew this one was going to turn out through, everything just went well, practice really does make perfect! I actually combined pen and pencil in this one, it’s not obvious, but that’s how I wanted it. If you look at his cheek and under his hair you can just about make it out, and some in the background too.  I think it adds a nice effect to it!

Who to draw next, that is the question!

JB

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Finally a new drawing! Tom Hardy

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I know what you’re thinking: ‘She’s started drawing again!’ and you’d be right to think that. After a year and a bit, I’ve finally picked up that pen and started drawing again.

I decided to draw Tom Hardy after watching This Means War ( I’m such a romanticist! Haha), I know he look nothing like this in that film but drawing Tom Hardy with a beard was easier than without!

Anyway for a first attempt at drawing again, I don’t think it turned out all that bad. Okay so one eye looks a bit bigger than the other and his nose…I’m sorry Tom, I just couldn’t get it right! But it’s not a bad effort I don’t think.

I’m hoping to get my next drawing done next week once I’ve been on holiday!

Ciao for now,

JB

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Roar!

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I had a few hours spare so I decided to draw the beautiful animal that is the tiger!  (Roar!)

Well as with my human portraits I decided to start with the eyes before shading in the black fur.  I then went about drawing the rest of the tiger before moving onto the nose, which was pretty easy (I know easy?!), but then again a tigers nose isn’t the most complicated (to draw anyway!).

The final touch was to shade the tiger in using my pencils to make the tiger seem less 2D. Unfortunately my scanner wouldn’t pick up the pencil shading, so I had to revert back to using my camera which has done a decent job of picking it up, although the background remains faded.

I can honestly say I’m happy with this drawing, apart from the bit that’s hidden by the pen, but what you don’t know won’t hurt you!

Over and out!

JB

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The Wolverine!

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I haven’t been on here in ages (I know, shame on me!), but here is a drawing I did of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine! Overall I’m happy with how it turned out. I reverted back to using my Faber-Castell pens for the shading, just to give it a bit more impact, but I also used my good old ball point pen.
I think the drawing could do with a background as the outline in some parts are quite thick.

Anyhow a quick post!

Over and out

JB
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As free as a bird

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When you have little Blue Tits flying in and out of the bird box right outside your window (all those caterpillars they’ve fed to their chicks!), it made sense that I should try and draw one (emphasis on the ‘try’ here!).

Unlike most drawing I didn’t start with the birds eye (I know, what’s wrong with me?!) but instead started with it’s beak, it just seemed to make more sense while I was drawing. I then drew the eye before drawing the outline of the bird.

I then went about shading, something I’m not too happy about. Especially the left hand side of the bird or right hand side as you look at it (all these hands are so confusing!), it just seems to deform the bird somehow.

But I think overall it’s an ‘okay’ drawing.

I don’t know if you’ve tried taking a photo of a Blue Tit going in and out of it’s house to feed it’s chicks, but I can assure you, it’s not easy! They’re speedy little things!  My rather poor attempt is shown below.

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That’s all for today folks,

Over and out,

JB

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It’s Margaery Tyrell!

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I hadn’t drawn in over a week (I know over a week!) and as my creativity was running wild I decided to do a quick sketch of Natalie Dormer known for playing Margaery Tyrell in the Game of Throne.
I had a few problems with her nose (it just doesn’t look right…my drawing of it that is, Natalie’s nose is lovely) and I probably should have shaded with my pencils instead of leaving it blank, but I do like the way her eyes turned out (I know, what a big head!).

Anyhow only a quick post today!

Over and out

JB
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