Ladies, send the first message already!


I have entered the vast world that is online dating; it’s a daring place to go with endless opportunities, fails and damn right ‘what the hells’. Going on dating sites and apps can at first seem intimidating, having to upload flattering photos of yourself to impress your prospective onlookers. Having to write something that doesn’t make you sound boring or desperate, but unique and desirable. Once all that is done, the waiting game begins.

So you swipe right on a few guys you fancy chatting to or check out their profile. You wait for the message, only the message rarely come. If they do they often begin with ‘Hey’ ‘Hey sexy’ ‘Hey gorgeous’ ‘Hey, are you?’ or even worse ‘Hey, how r u’ (like seriously, didn’t you go to school!). I sometimes feel like pulling my hair out, someone that is going to get a reply will be someone who picks up on something in my profile, who makes an effort. I’m quite a traditional person, so I expect the guys to make the first move, but it would appear that times have changed. So why don’t the majority of guys send the first message?

So I asked a couple of guys who use dating apps and sites if they send the first message and if not why not? The general answer I got was that they did send some first messages, but saw that as it’s the 21st-century women should be making the effort too. I asked if they seriously thought someone had potential would they send the first message, the answer I got? Well yes was the answer, but a lot wouldn’t hang on for a reply as a large percentage go unanswered. What I’ve also discovered from talking to these guys is that there are a lot of bots, fakes and women selling their services (no I’m not talking about Avon, we’re talking the unmentionables), so it’s not surprising that guys don’t bother sending the first message.

So, ladies, it would appear we need to man up, build up our confidence and send that first message. I send plenty of them and like the problem the men have, a large percentage go unanswered. But I recently sent out the first message, the fellow replied, we’ve chatted for a few days, and now we’re going the first date (I only instigated the conversation, he was the one who had to ask to meet me, I am still a traditionalist in that manner)

Good luck ladies, we can beat this online dating! (although admittedly it does make me feel like I have more than one Tamagotchi pet attached to my phone at times!)

Over and out,









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