The case of the ex

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Okay, so I’ve recently been going through love forums, reading about relationship problems and people’s suggested resolution to said problems. Admittedly I only started reading them because I had relationship problems of my own (I’ll be blogging about that soon enough), but found quite a few people asking what it means if an ex gets back in touch after no contact (NC).

Well, in my experience, it’s because their recent relationship has gone tits up. I recently got contacted by an ex a couple of days ago after nearly 2 years of NC, he actually unblocked me from Facebook (I know, he actually blocked me! I used to joke with my mum as he blocked me after I sent him a message asking him to stop sending me candy crush requests, I guess some people were passionate hard core candy crush gamers back then!) and sent a message on the lines of ‘hey, how are you?’. Admittedly I was quite surprised, but was curious and because I don’t hold grudges (I actually do, but I didn’t want to appear like I did!) I replied. We sent a couple of messages back and forth, how everyone is at home, what we’ve been up to and so on.

Alarm bell no.1 started when he compliment my profile picture. I know what you might be thinking, ‘it’s just a compliment!’ But from where I stand, giving a flattering compliment to an ex when you’re in a relationship ain’t the norm. Alarm bell no.2 happened when he asked if I wanted to meet up (please note: he asked to meet up before when he’d supposedly broken up with his girlfriend, I declined but said maybe another time, turns out he hadn’t broken up with her).

So with alarm bells ringing and from past experience I decided to do some detective work. I remembered he followed me on Twitter (I unfollowed him many moons ago), he hadn’t posted in quite a while but it was easy enough to find a tweet he’d sent to his girlfriend. Low and  behold, I was right to be suspicious, it turns out they’d broken up (admittedly I wouldn’t be very good as a detective as I accidentally followed her on Twitter, but no biggie I got what I needed).

How did the conversation end? Well I stayed mature and said I was too busy to meet up, he suggested another time, I said I’d try and pencil him in. I then blocked him. Why did I block him? Because he blocked me to begin with of  course…only joking! I’m not that childish! (Okay I am a bit). The main reason was because he’s in the past and I have no reason to be in contact with him anymore, I’m certainly not going to be used!

Maybe he felt lonely (go and talk to your friends), maybe he needed an ego boost after the break up (hook up with another woman), maybe he genuinely just wanted to talk and be friends (with your ex? After you’ve just broken up with your current girlfriend? Not going to happen!) but either way, I’m leaving the past where it belongs and I’m looking to the future.

I think that’s my general advice in the case of ex’s suddenly contacting you out of nowhere after years or months of silence. Don’t step back in the past, they’re in the past for a reason.

JB

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